The Carousel of Our Own Making

 

A Reflection on Freedom and the Sacred Noticing of Our Patterns

Notice

We ride the carousel of our own lives—round and round, the painted horses rising and falling in their predetermined arc. The music plays, familiar and comforting. We know every note, every rhythm, every moment when the brass ring appears. For a time, it’s delightful. The lights flash, the world blurs into pleasant motion, and we feel the rush of movement without the risk of actually going anywhere.

But sit with this long enough, really notice it, and something shifts. The delight becomes duty. The music, once charming, becomes the soundtrack of our confinement. We realize that we’ve ridden this same circuit a thousand times—the same conflicts, the same compromises, the same carefully constructed identity spinning in its grooved track.

And here’s the uncomfortable truth that Sacred Noticing reveals: we are both the rider and the operator. We bought the ticket. We climb aboard each morning. We hold ourselves to the painted horse even when our legs ache and our spirit longs for solid ground.

Pause

St. Francis of Assisi knew something about carousels. The whole courtly world of Assisi was one—the merchants spinning in their pursuit of wealth, the nobles in their pursuit of honor, the church in its pursuit of power. Round and round, each carousel maintaining its own illusion of progress while going nowhere at all.

His genius was the pause. That moment in the cave. That kiss of the leper. That stripping away of his father’s clothes in the public square. Not a rejection of the world, but a rejection of the wheel.

In that pause, in that stepping off, he discovered something radical: we have freedom of movement. We always have. The carousel continues spinning, but we need not remain on it. We are the only ones who lock ourselves into the patterns of our lives—into jobs that drain us, relationships that diminish us, identities that no longer fit the people we’re becoming.

But here’s the deeper truth that Francis embodied: the only thing truly spinning is the world itself. We’ve mistaken the world’s motion for our own. The earth turns on its axis, seasons cycle, circumstances rise and fall—but we, at our center, can be still. We can be home.

And home, Francis teaches us, isn’t a place we’re spinning toward or away from. Home is the ground of our being, the presence of God that travels with us. He made home in a cave, in a leper colony, on a mountain, beneath the stars. Home was wherever he stood in awareness of the Divine presence.

The Franciscan insight is that this freedom isn’t found in acquiring something new. It’s found in the poverty that lets go. It’s in the simplicity that walks away from the most recent, irrelevant call. It’s in the humility that admits: this ride isn’t serving me anymore. It’s in the recognition that I can plant my feet anywhere and call it holy ground.

Respond

So what does Sacred Noticing call us to do?

First, notice without judgment where you’re spinning. What patterns have become prisons? What familiar circuits have you mistaken for the journey itself? Be gentle here—we don’t climb onto carousels because we’re foolish, but because they once brought us joy, or safety, or belonging.

Then pause. Really pause. Step off the platform even if just for a breath. Feel what solid ground is like beneath your feet. This is the contemplative moment—not thinking about freedom, but experiencing it. Recognize that while the world spins in its endless revolution, you don’t have to spin with it. You can be still. You can be centered. You can be home right here, right now.

Finally, respond. Not with drama or self-recrimination, but with the simple wisdom of someone who recognizes they’re free to move. Maybe you walk away from the carousel entirely. Maybe you return for one more ride, but now as a choice rather than a compulsion. Maybe you invite others to step off with you. Maybe you simply stand still and let the world do its spinning while you rest in the unchanging love that holds you.

Francis would remind us: the creation is vast. God’s playground extends far beyond our small mechanical circles. There are fields to walk through, lepers to embrace, birds to preach to, a sun to call brother, a moon to call sister. And wherever we stand in that vastness, we are home. Because home isn’t a destination. Home is the awareness that we are held, we are loved, we are free—no matter what spins around us.

The carousel will keep spinning. The world will keep turning. They always do. But you—blessed, beloved, free—you can notice where you are, pause in the awareness of your own stillness at the center, and respond with the wisdom of one who knows: I can make home wherever I am.

The question isn’t whether you can step off.

It’s whether you’ll notice that you’ve been standing on holy ground all along.

Reflection Copyright 2026 Michael J. Cunningham OFS

The Guest

The Guest

I met her at a Christmas party this week, sitting quietly among the seasonal chatter. Tall and elegant in clothes from another era, she spoke about her work, her influence, and her many connections. The words came easily, practiced, filling the space with accomplishment.

But underneath it, something else seeps out.

That’s what the moment taught me—not about her specifically, but about all of us. How we construct these careful presentations, these compartments where we store our longing, our unfulfillment, our desire for something more. We believe we’re containing it, managing it, keeping it properly hidden. And then it seeps out anyway.

Because vulnerability isn’t something we can permanently bottle up; it finds its way through the cracks. It shows itself in the pause between sentences, in the way our eyes drift when we talk about success, in the depth of a look that’s almost a stare, and in the reaching for words that never quite capture what we’re actually feeling.

She made a statement with her elegant bearing, her bygone fashion, her stories of influence. But the vulnerability came anyway, uninvited yet somehow essential. Like a guest we didn’t mean to welcome but who belonged at the table nonetheless.

I’ve spent this week thinking about these compartments; how we divide ourselves into acceptable pieces—the competent professional, the accomplished friend, the person who has it together. We present these pieces carefully, keeping the messier parts tucked away. The desire for another person, another life, another experience, another meaning.

But here’s what I see: when we live compartmentalized, something vital goes missing. We become a collection of presentations rather than a whole person. The vulnerability that seeps out isn’t a failure of our containers—it’s our wholeness trying to break through.

What if vulnerability isn’t the problem but the path? Not something to manage or hide, but something essential to feeling fully human? Yes, it might hurt us at times. Yes, it exposes us in ways that feel uncomfortable. But without it, we’re just elegant performances, telling stories of influence while the real story—the one about longing and searching and not having arrived—goes unspoken.

The party continued around us that evening. Christmas music played. People moved from conversation to conversation, everyone presenting, everyone containing. And I sat there recognizing something I’ve known but keep forgetting we’re all carrying desires that will not abate. We must continue seeking, reaching, and being vulnerable.

The question isn’t whether vulnerability will emerge. It will. It must. The question is whether we’ll make room for it, acknowledge it, let it be part of our wholeness rather than something to resist and store for another day.

Maybe that’s the real gift of the season—not the wrapped packages or the seasonal gatherings, but the moments when our careful containers crack open and something truer seeps out, when we stop long enough to be present with our unfulfillment, our reaching, our very human desire for more.

Vulnerability keeps showing up like an uninvited guest.

Perhaps it’s time to set a place at the table.

 

 

 

The guest

She sits quietly,

Telling stores of her vast influence,

Without boastful words,

Unaware of her pain exposed,

In her unfulfillment.

 

Tall, elegant and beautifully dressed,

She is slightly out of fashion,

With clothes from a bygone era,

Yet making her statement.

 

Here she moves amongst the guests,

At the Christmas party, yet underneath,

With something else,

Yet underneath it seeps out.

 

This desire for another,

Another person, life, experience, meaning;

That will not abate.

 

She must continue …

 

 

 

Sacred Noticing: A Contemplative Practice for Daily Life

 

…  Between what happens to you and what you do about it lies a space.
This practice teaches you how to find it, expand it, and use it…  

The Practice
1. NOTICE with contemplative awareness what is present in this moment.
2. PAUSE to create sacred space for wisdom to emerge before responding.
3. RESPOND from integrated awareness with wise, heart-centered action.
4. REPEAT this rhythm throughout your day, allowing it to become a natural way of being.

What Makes Sacred Noticing Different
You’ve likely practiced mindfulness. Perhaps you pray contemplatively. Maybe you’ve developed your own ways of staying present.
Sacred Noticing honors what you already do while offering something more: a complete cycle from awareness through wisdom to action. It’s not mindfulness alone. It’s not contemplation in isolation. It’s spiritual awareness in action—integrating all three into one flowing movement designed for the messy beauty of everyday life.

Most practices excel at one thing:
• Mindfulness develops present-moment awareness
• Contemplative prayer opens space for reflection
• Decision frameworks guide wise action

Sacred Noticing weaves them into a single practice. Because genuine spiritual awareness can’t stop at noticing. It must move through wisdom into response. And that response must arise from something deeper than reaction.

How It Works in Real Life

The Method:
NOTICE with contemplative awareness what is present.
• See beyond automatic assumptions and habitual interpretations
• Ask: What else might be true that I’m not seeing?
• Approach familiar moments with fresh eyes
• Notice both the outer situation and your inner response without judgment
PAUSE to create sacred space before responding.
• Use the Three-Breath Method: Take three conscious breaths, feel your feet on the ground, ask “What does this moment need from me?”
• Interrupt automatic reactions and create space for wisdom
• Remain open to what wants to emerge without forcing
• The pause isn’t emptiness—it’s fullness, presence, possibility
RESPOND from integrated awareness with wise action.
• Let your response arise from the wisdom accessed in the pause
• Choose responses that serve the whole situation, not just immediate reactions
• Your response may be words, actions, or continued presence—whatever serves best
• Sometimes the wisest response is not to respond, but to remain present

Yellow Light Moments

Throughout your day, countless opportunities invite you to choose conscious response over automatic reaction. Like traffic lights signaling a chance to slow down, these yellow light moments are everywhere:
• The phone ringing—take one breath before answering
• Email notifications—notice your inner response before clicking
• Transitions between tasks—reset your presence
• Someone’s words triggering reaction—choose response over reactivity
• Difficult conversations—create space for wisdom to emerge
These moments sanctify the ordinary. Every transition offers a thin place where conscious presence can break through habitual response.

Getting Started

Begin small. Choose one routine activity today—morning coffee, walking to your car, a familiar conversation. Bring the three movements to that single moment.
Be patient. What feels deliberate at first becomes intuitive. Trust the practice to work in you as you work with the practice.
Expect sensitivity. Sacred Noticing increases awareness of both beauty and pain. This isn’t a flaw—it’s genuine spiritual development. Practice sacred self-compassion.
Let it integrate. The fruits of Sacred Noticing appear in daily life—in the quality of your presence, the depth of your relationships, the wisdom of your responses.

A Practice for All

Sacred Noticing emerges from the Franciscan tradition of seeing the sacred in all creation. It draws from Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, and Celtic spirituality—yet remains accessible to all.
Whether you practice contemplative prayer, meditation, or neither, this method provides everything you need to cultivate presence and wisdom in daily life. You need not hold particular beliefs to benefit, though the practice deepens and enriches faith for those who bring their spiritual commitments to it.

What This Practice Offers

Sacred Noticing transforms:
• Automatic reactions into conscious responses
• Ordinary moments into sacred encounters
• Scattered awareness into integrated presence
• Reactive living into wisdom in action
This is not quick-fix spirituality. It’s a lifelong practice of increasing awareness, deepening wisdom, and more conscious living. The practice doesn’t make life easier—it makes you more present to life as it is, with all its beauty and pain, challenge and grace.

The Transformation

Once you begin truly seeing, you cannot unsee.
Once you taste the wisdom available in the pause, reactivity loses its grip.
Once you experience the freedom of conscious response, automatic patterns lose their power.
This is both the promise and the challenge of contemplative awareness.

 

Begin Now

The invitation is simple: Notice. Pause. Respond. Repeat.
Begin where you are with what you have. Every moment contains the possibility of awakening. Thin places are everywhere, waiting only for your awakened presence to reveal them.

Coming Soon: The Practice of Sacred NoticingA complete guide to this contemplative method for daily life.

Sacred Noticing is offered as a gift. Share it freely. (Click to download) 

When teaching or writing about Sacred Noticing, a simple attribution is appreciated:

 

Copyright 2025 Michael J. Cunningham OFS

The Head Check: Jesus and the Sacred Turn

A blurred image of a traffic light showing a red signal, with streaks of colorful motion representing fast-moving vehicles in the background.

Part Two: Jesus and the Sacred Turn

Jesus had the most important destination of anyone who ever walked the earth. Yet he kept stopping. He kept turning his head. He kept noticing people in the blind spots.

Consider this moment: He’s on his way to Jairus’s house to heal a dying girl. A legitimate emergency. Life or death. And in the middle of the urgent crowd pressing around him, he stops.

“Who touched me?” (Luke 8:45)

His disciples are bewildered. “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you” (Luke 8:45). Everyone is touching you! But Jesus knows the difference between accidental contact and desperate reach. A woman with a bleeding disorder, someone everyone else had walked past for twelve years, had reached out to touch his cloak.

He could have kept walking. The dying girl couldn’t wait. But he turned. He did the head check. He saw the woman everyone else missed. “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace” (Luke 8:48).

Two people healed that day. Both in blind spots. Both requiring Jesus to turn aside from his urgent path.

Or consider Zacchaeus, hanging out in that sycamore tree (Luke 19:1-10). The crowd was focused on Jesus—the road ahead, the teaching about to happen. But Jesus looked up. He saw the tax collector whom everyone had learned not to notice, the man so desperate to see Jesus that he climbed a tree.

“Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today” (Luke 19:5).

The head check, again and again. The sacred practice of turning to see what others miss.

And then there’s Moses at the burning bush. He was going about his business, tending sheep, focused on the work at hand. But something caught his peripheral vision—a bush burning but not consumed. The text is specific: “I will go over and see this strange sight” (Exodus 3:3). Moses had to turn aside to see it. He had to do a head check.

And God responds: “I have indeed seen the misery of my people” (Exodus 3:7). God is the one who notices. God is the one who does the head check for all of humanity, seeing those in the blind spots of power and privilege.

I wonder sometimes if God isn’t in our blind spot too.

We spend so much time looking ahead—making plans, pursuing goals, worrying about the future. We spend time checking the rearview mirror—reviewing our past, replaying our regrets. But God is often just over our shoulder, in that place we’re not looking. In the present moment. In the person beside us. In the interruption we didn’t plan for.

One of my colleagues, another Franciscan Retreat Center Director, tells me the most important parts of his day are the interruptions; when grace seeps into the daylight in an unexpected way. Always open to the invitation. Something for all of us to work on!

What if the spiritual life is less about the road ahead and more about the continual turning of the head? What if holiness is measured not by the destinations we reach but by who we notice along the way?

Jesus teaches us this again and again. “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40). He’s in the blind spot. The hungry person. The stranger. The prisoner. The one we almost missed.

The apostle James warns us: “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” (James 2:15-16).

How many times do we pass by people’s real needs because we’re looking straight ahead? We offer prayers when presence is required. We give advice when listening is needed. We move forward when turning aside is the call.

The head check isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about having the humility to turn and look. To see. To notice. To be present.

This week, perhaps we can practice the sacred head check:

Before each transition—entering your home, starting work, beginning a meal—pause. Turn. Look around. Ask: “Who is here that I almost missed?”

Stay with that person for a few more seconds of full attention. Watch what happens.

The grocery clerk becomes Daniel, celebrating his first birthday without his father. The quiet colleague becomes someone carrying unseen grief. Your spouse becomes not a fixture in your landscape but a soul worthy of complete attention.

And perhaps, in turning to see them, you discover something else: God has been there all along, hoping you would turn your head.

“The last move is the ‘head check,’ ensuring no one is in my blind spot, that person who is in my life unnoticed, with whom I might collide, or I nearly did, but didn’t notice at the time.”

May we become people who notice. People who turn. People who see.



Copyright 2025 Michael J. Cunningham OFS

A reflection in the spirit of awakening to the spiritual path around us
Copyright © 2025 Michael J. Cunningham

The Head Check: Noticing Our Blind Spots

A blurred image of a traffic light showing a red signal, with streaks of colorful motion representing fast-moving vehicles in the background.

Part One: The Turn

The road peels away beneath my tires. Ahead, an 18-wheeler throws up a shower of dirt and water, warning me of the blindness about to come. The engine hums its familiar song beneath me; a reassuring vibration of partnership, man and machine working together. A glance in the mirror confirms a blur of traffic all around, moving in what seems like slow motion.

And then comes the last move before I change lanes: the head check.

Every motorcyclist learns this ritual. It’s not optional—it’s survival. You check your mirrors, yes, but mirrors aren’t enough. There’s always a blind spot, that space just over your shoulder where someone could be driving. The head check requires you to take your eyes off the road ahead. For just a second, you have to stop looking at where you’re going and turn to see what you might have missed.

The poet writes: “The last move is the ‘head check,’ ensuring no-one is in my blind spot, that person who is in my life unnoticed, with whom I might collide, or I nearly did, but didn’t notice at the time.”

I’ve been thinking about this lately—not just on the motorcycle, but in life. Who are the people in my blind spots?

Last Tuesday, I rushed through the kitchen on my way to an important meeting. My wife was at the counter. I called out a quick “See you later” without breaking stride. Hand on the doorknob, keys jangling, mind already three steps ahead.

“Hey,” she said softly.

Something in her voice made me stop. Made me turn around. Made me really look at her for the first time that morning.

Her eyes were moist.

“I’m here, you know,” she said. “Thank you for the coffee” … with some understatement in her voice.

I put down my backpack. The meeting suddenly seemed very far away.

I almost missed it. I almost walked right past this moment, past her pain, past the opportunity to be present to someone I love. She was right there—not ahead of me, not behind me, but beside me. In my blind spot.

The head check requires three things that don’t come naturally.

First, it requires slowing down. You cannot do a proper head check at full speed. You have to create a little space between your momentum and your next move. As the Psalmist writes, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). Stillness isn’t passivity—it’s the pause that allows us to see.

Second, it requires turning. Physically reorienting yourself to see what’s hidden from your forward view. This means taking your eyes off your own path, your own plans. It means admitting that someone beside you might be more important than where you’re headed.

Third, it requires vulnerability. When you turn your head on a motorcycle, you’re briefly not watching the road ahead. When you turn your attention to someone in life, you’re risking your schedule, your agenda, your carefully constructed day.

But isn’t this exactly what love does?

When we don’t do the head check, we leave a particular kind of spiritual footprint. It’s the footprint of absence. People feel unseen, unnoticed, as if they don’t quite exist in our presence.

This week, I’m trying something. Before I enter a room—my home, my office, a meeting—I pause at the threshold. Just for three seconds. I take a breath. I look around. Who’s here? Who am I in danger of missing?

Yesterday, I did a head check in the grocery store line. The young man at the register had a name tag that read “Daniel.” I actually read it this time.

“How’s your day going?”

He looked startled. Then he smiled—really smiled. “He picked up on my strange Anglofile/American accent.”

“What do they call cookies in England!”

A discussion ensued on the merits of when to call cookies cookies, and not biscuits while in England. It took longer than I had planned but we both added something to our day by the exchange.

Five seconds. That’s all it took. Five seconds to turn my head, to see someone I almost missed, to leave a footprint of presence instead of absence. The road will still be there when we look back. But the person beside us might not be.

So turn your head. Just for a moment. Look. Notice. See.

For it is often in these moments that God is moving inside us, teaching us that the most important journey isn’t always the one ahead, but the one that begins when we turn aside to see who’s traveling beside us.

“Head check”

As the road peels itself off my tires,

The 18 wheeler looms ahead,

spraying a shower of dirt and water,

Warning me of oncoming blindness,

And a cloud of indecision.

The hum of the motorcycle engine below sings its favorite tune

 … reassuring;

Providing me with the wonderful vibration of our partnership,

Man-made machine in harmony together.

She is ready to do my will.

A glance in the mirror confirms the blur of traffic all around, slow-mo it seems.

The last move is the “head check”

Ensuring no-one is in my blind spot,

That person who is in my life unnoticed,

with whom I might collide,

Or I nearly did, but didn’t notice at the time.


A reflection in the spirit of awakening to the spiritual path around us
Copyright © 2025 Michael J. Cunningham