Loving Yourself – Part 2

In the Christian tradition the great commandment in the New Testament includes the words “love your neighbor as yourself”. I want to examine this “loving yourself” in a little more detail. Do we really love ourselves? I mean it’s an easy thing to say, but most of us, myself included, tend to be pretty hard on ourselves. We spend a lot of time focusing on the issues of forgiveness, primarily forgiving others, and occasionally ourselves.

And, we see God as the source of that forgiveness. Which of course is true. However, that’s not the same as self-love. Many of us, again myself included, tend to think of loving ourselves as a selfish activity. Nothing could be further from the truth. Loving ourselves is self-care, ensuring our happiness, moving more deeply in the internal spiritual journey towards inner peace, in fact, all of the above. And yet we feel, or some of us do at least, that this self-love is a guilty pleasure not to be savored.

Perhaps another way of looking at this is thinking about being compassionate to ourselves. Often, our compassion is outward-looking, seeing the need to be loving, forgiving, compassionate, and empathetic to those in the world around us. This of course is true again. And it’s a good thing. I’m not suggesting a reduction in this category! But can we be compassionate to ourselves? If we are not nourished spiritually, we see how quickly we can become dry and disillusioned in our outlook. We need this nourishment. It’s part of an internal holy longing to be peace-filled that drives almost everyone on the planet. This desire for inner peace requires some self-love. Just as we should not reject others, we shouldn’t reject ourselves. And yet, how many of us, if we asked the question “Do we love and care for ourselves?” answer this scriptural request. Love your neighbor as yourself. With the emphasis on yourself.

Sidebar: I think part of this is that much of our faith and how we operate in the world is intended to be outgoing. That love, compassion, and understanding is broadcast through us to others. Yet, sometimes, leaving nothing for ourselves.

This is not an either-or question. That we must choose between ourselves and those around us. The neighbors. Like many things in the spiritual world it is a both-and thing. Love your neighbors as yourself.

So I’m not suggesting that we immediately start doing things to love or pamper ourselves in a way that’s just pure self-indulgence. Although a little of that on occasion doesn’t necessarily hurt us. We all need a treat. But rather we do consider loving ourselves as an essential part of our spiritual life? We often spend time loving, or at least tolerating, those around us where there is a less-than-perfect relationship in place. Why would we not do the same for ourselves?

Again, in the Christian tradition, when Jesus issued that commandment, the great commandment, to love your God and love your neighbor as yourself, there were no caveats. There were no limits on forgiveness, unconditional love, or grace.

So perhaps we should consider self-love, self-compassion, and caring for our own soul as more of a priority. Just as we take care of our bodies and our health, our soul needs this whispering love that’s there for us all. Just like the air that we breathe.

Take a little time to reflect on the good parts that reside within and then love them. For they are all from God. And they are waiting to get out into the world through you.

For you are called to be an instrument of peace and love.

A Breakfast Conversation

Me:     Good morning soul how are things today?

Soul:    Not so bad, thank you for asking.

Me:     What nourishment would you like for breakfast?

Soul:    Oh, you normally don’t ask, that’s interesting.

Me:     Hadn’t thought about it. I usually cook breakfast.

Soul:    I get hungry too you know.

Me:     I usually grab something on the way out and eat it in the car. Or I will eat later.

Soul:    I saw you were cooking for all the others. Aren’t you going to feed me?

Me:     Do you need feeding? I thought feeding the others would be enough to satisfy your cravings.

Soul:    And why would you think that? I crave you as well as the others.