There is much talk these days about winners and losers. Very shortly, as we move into the space after the 5th November 2024 election, many will feel one way or the other—perhaps as many as half of the nation if polls are to be believed.
So, where does that leave us? After we become losers, or at least as much of the world defines them, we can reflect while the others around us (the winners) rejoice. However, this process does little to heal the divisions or positions that separated us in the first place. So, are there truly winners and losers? Of course, we have all been on both sides of these coins.
Often, the determination for winning or losing may be reasonably straightforward. We lost the soccer game. I came in last, not first. We were runners-up. However, these events don’t define our lives, at least not with any permanence. We can recover from these results, train harder, learn new skills, and try again for a different result next time.
But how do we process winning or losing? Everyone knows the expression “a sore loser,” and sometimes, a winner can rub the result in your face, being somewhat ungracious in victory.
Winning does not guarantee a permanent state for the victor except perhaps, for wars. And even then, that can change, of course. So, we can consider winning or losing, for that matter, to be a temporary state of affairs. A place along the a journey if you like. However, we can consider it another way. If we think of winning and losing as a culminating activity it can fill a room full of trophies (in our mind at least) and the losses as obstacles, fences or walls to overcome in the future. In either case, we are likely to suffer from reaffirmation and the wins or loses start to become a part of who we are. This is because we have not “processed” what happened. Losing a contest for playing music may be a call to improve, and actually help your musical career. On the other hand, being ridiculed for your first failed public speaking event (might be in the elementary classroom) could scar you for a while. So what is all this winning and losing about then.
Well, in society, particularly Western society, we like to think of ourselves as winners and losers. This makes us a proper noun. Embodying what is, in fact, just a result of a particular excursion in life. A waypoint, milestone, marker if you will. Thinking about the winning and losing in this category, places the results in a journey. A journey which is much bigger than any one result along the way.
There is a hilarious character in an old BBC comedy called “Dad’s Army”. This army is comprised of men who are either too old or infirm in some way to join the regular army during World War II. It is a comedy that might be considered not so politically correct today, but it talks to the issue of cumulating disasters. Each time something fails, or there is a bad result in anything, a Scottish elderly soldier declares in a strong accent, “We’re doomed! We doomed!” Fraser, the soldier is always looking for negative affirmation, to the point that he is a walking “loser” looking for places to confirm his status.
While this is a comedic tool for the writers of this program, it also illustrates how quickly we can become what others say we are: winners or losers. It takes work to dig ourselves out of a hole when we are criticized, more so than any chest-beating or beaming smile that results from a “win.”
The bottom line here is we are not either winners or losers; we are. We just are.
Taking a less tribal approach to determining who is right or wrong, left or right, black or white, will help us see who we truly are. We are humanity. It is up to us to be human and embody some of the characteristics that make us a part of the common good. Compassion, love, and hospitality would be a place to start. And if that’s too complex for us, then let us remember that the famous Franciscan Friar, John Duns Scotus quoted many years ago. “If it is not of love, then it is not of God.”
Land and Sky by Michael J. Cunningham
Reflection and image Copyright 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
Very nice, calming and balanced. Thank you. We are, after all verbs, not nouns. Thank you. Richard Rohr sent another very thoughtful message out a number of days ago. It is challenging, but a relief, to feel risen or transformed towards out highest ethic, than polarized and tribal. My first major spiritual-philosophical teacher said “if you want to change the world, change yourself” – Jiddu Krishnamurti, “You Are The World” book, and within his lecture in Ojai.🙏
Thank you Randall. Have a blessed weekend.
As noted, Franciscan Friar, John Duns Scotus quoted many years ago. “If it is not of love, then it is not of God.”
Where is the love in the republican candidates’s positions? Hard for me to see, but will stay open to more being revealed. Hopefully, toxic delusion will not be a winning factor in this election.
“Hopefully, toxic delusion will not be a factor in this election”, could be a prayerful request to a higher power.