Scared to Get Close

Do you ever get that feeling that you need to get close to something or someone but are scared to do so. We are all warned in the world to stay away from things that might hurt us. Don’t touch the stove Michael. Stay away from the edge! Don’t run with scissors. You get the idea. Sometimes, I just wonder what holds us back.

The person who will not take the dive from the higher board, try the more difficult ski slope, be willing to talk to someone who they don’t feel comfortable with are all characteristics we may have encountered at some time or another.

Often, we surprise ourselves by not only losing whatever fear we had of the situation by encountering it directly, but we conquer it completely, now seeing there may have not been anything to be afraid of in the first place.

Our human development and spiritual journeys are littered with such milestones. They could represent the end of a journey for us, if we are not willing to try and pass the slow car ahead which is hindering our progress. Or we may be happy staying in the village in which we were born for the next seventy years. There is no right answer, but there is an inflection point, the point at which we decide if we are too scared to face the fear. Is staying in port when there is a storm brewing on the ocean a sign of scaredness? I would not say so. More like a good decision. This is not the sort of decision that I am talking about here.

Being scared of something or someone often just requires us to examine consequences of confronting the fear which is operating within. What is the worse that could happen. The pretty girl rejects me. Perhaps, but then again, she might accept my proposal for coffee and we are together for the rest of our lives. Is the potential rejection not worth the risk?

We all have a set of markers that tell us what our risk profile is, some seem to be willing to take a risk or jump in more than others. It does not make them necessarily reckless just because they would do so. The risk profile is there for them to determine. What may seem risky to one, is a walk in the park for others.

So, what should we be scared of then? I can’t really answer that question for you, you must do so for yourself. Danger holds its victims close by. And our perception of danger has a variable scale.

However, I will say this. If you never confront the issues which are causing you to feel scared, and they are addressable, you may be setting yourself up for misery and regret. Some of the most important decisions that have been made in the world are bold and in retrospect, beautiful. A wound does not heal well until it has been fully cleaned and dressed in readiness for its new skin. Attention is paid to the wound; it will not heal by just looking at it and feeling sorry for ourselves.

Such is the world in the spiritual realm. We must see what is bothering us, keeping us awake at night, giving us that “gut feeling” which tells us something is wrong, or needs to change. And then to not only listen, but to do something about it.

Or not.

Photograph and Reflection Copyright 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS