There is much talk these days about winners and losers. Very shortly, as we move into the space after the 5th November 2024 election, many will feel one way or the other—perhaps as many as half of the nation if polls are to be believed.
So, where does that leave us? After we become losers, or at least as much of the world defines them, we can reflect while the others around us (the winners) rejoice. However, this process does little to heal the divisions or positions that separated us in the first place. So, are there truly winners and losers? Of course, we have all been on both sides of these coins.
Often, the determination for winning or losing may be reasonably straightforward. We lost the soccer game. I came in last, not first. We were runners-up. However, these events don’t define our lives, at least not with any permanence. We can recover from these results, train harder, learn new skills, and try again for a different result next time.
But how do we process winning or losing? Everyone knows the expression “a sore loser,” and sometimes, a winner can rub the result in your face, being somewhat ungracious in victory.
Winning does not guarantee a permanent state for the victor except perhaps, for wars. And even then, that can change, of course. So, we can consider winning or losing, for that matter, to be a temporary state of affairs. A place along the a journey if you like. However, we can consider it another way. If we think of winning and losing as a culminating activity it can fill a room full of trophies (in our mind at least) and the losses as obstacles, fences or walls to overcome in the future. In either case, we are likely to suffer from reaffirmation and the wins or loses start to become a part of who we are. This is because we have not “processed” what happened. Losing a contest for playing music may be a call to improve, and actually help your musical career. On the other hand, being ridiculed for your first failed public speaking event (might be in the elementary classroom) could scar you for a while. So what is all this winning and losing about then.
Well, in society, particularly Western society, we like to think of ourselves as winners and losers. This makes us a proper noun. Embodying what is, in fact, just a result of a particular excursion in life. A waypoint, milestone, marker if you will. Thinking about the winning and losing in this category, places the results in a journey. A journey which is much bigger than any one result along the way.
There is a hilarious character in an old BBC comedy called “Dad’s Army”. This army is comprised of men who are either too old or infirm in some way to join the regular army during World War II. It is a comedy that might be considered not so politically correct today, but it talks to the issue of cumulating disasters. Each time something fails, or there is a bad result in anything, a Scottish elderly soldier declares in a strong accent, “We’re doomed! We doomed!” Fraser, the soldier is always looking for negative affirmation, to the point that he is a walking “loser” looking for places to confirm his status.
While this is a comedic tool for the writers of this program, it also illustrates how quickly we can become what others say we are: winners or losers. It takes work to dig ourselves out of a hole when we are criticized, more so than any chest-beating or beaming smile that results from a “win.”
The bottom line here is we are not either winners or losers; we are. We just are.
Taking a less tribal approach to determining who is right or wrong, left or right, black or white, will help us see who we truly are. We are humanity. It is up to us to be human and embody some of the characteristics that make us a part of the common good. Compassion, love, and hospitality would be a place to start. And if that’s too complex for us, then let us remember that the famous Franciscan Friar, John Duns Scotus quoted many years ago. “If it is not of love, then it is not of God.”
Land and Sky by Michael J. Cunningham
Reflection and image Copyright 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
Engage, Enrage then divide … Repeat … Living in a judgmental world
Do you ever wake in the morning and then just think the way I handled that was just too judgmental? Yes, I probably could have heard that person’s perspective a little longer, instead of reacting straight away. Why is it that some people just seem to set me off and then cause me to put them into a category that I am just waiting for others to join? Until, one day, there are just too many people in this category and maybe it’s me not them.
Today, when we are bombarded with messages from politicians, the media, and others try to get us engaged, enraged, and then divided neatly into activated piles of pre-judged characters or characteristics; this is how the world seems to operate. It’s an exhausting scene, where we are continually bombarded with the need to judge, or even worse, pre-judge others. Engage, enrage and divide!
Soon, we become walking zombies looking for like-minded groups who will join our clan of opinions; carefully wearing the same outfits so we can be easily identified by those we want to attract, and those we don’t. So, they don’t come near us. Threatening us with dialog, conversation or God forbid, understanding and compassion. No, I would rather engage, enrage, and divide!
OK, so I am exaggerating a little, but not by much. Many have come to understand our personal judgmentalism (yes, that’s a real word) as both a weapon and a part of our identity. But it’s not as simple as that. This exhaustion can cause, in extreme cases, us to reflect that we are being too judgmental, and the problem is me and not all the others. This self-reflection is, of course, a healthy practice. If we think we are being too judgmental about many things, our mind and thoughts will continue to reinforce our desire to “reject” others and our thinking about a particular group instantly leaps to “keep them out of my life” and my thoughts are overwhelmed by my dislikes. Dwelling on dislikes tends to create a personal wake (like a wave) for those around you. They become washed over by these predispositions and dislikes to the point that the forward water in our lives, (that is the part ahead of the wake), is going to be driven by the same thought process. While this strategy can cause us to find like-minded individuals who agree with us almost instantly, it reinforces behavior that is not helpful. We become divided quickly and semi-permanently from others. It is not where we want to be.
Our personal wake or spiritual footprint is left all over the place, rather like a muddy pair of boots after walking the farmyard. We are spreading our message about where we are coming from, but not in a good way.
So, what is the alternative? Well, the first point is to change the first word in the process here, engagement. As soon as we become engaged we can become activated, and then once activated we start moving along a process of engagement and a disposition of agreement with ourselves or others. This leads us to enragement, the second step. So, some interference is required during the engagement process. Instead of activation, we need to begin to listen, to reflect, to discern BEFORE we move to that rapid conclusion that this is a problem. Moving to dialog could even become a possibility. Humor intended.
Our current, and past of course, world affairs discourses are a perfect example of how this process works. Bringing others into the relevant tribe is the goal, but the method is often very unappealing and lacks any intention of dialog, listening or understanding before a conclusion is reached. The goal is to reach a conclusion as rapidly as possible with as few stops along the way. Then reinforce it to as many others as possible. It is not a pretty sight.
Perhaps the most important benefit from this reflection is the recognition that this is a situation that has become more prevalent because we are being encouraged to sidestep the peace-filling gifts of empathy, compassion and understanding before we get to use them. Engagement, in social media in particular, is designed to get to the next click, the next movement, the next step and keep the “eyeballs” and attention on the prize, whatever that prize is. A new product, an opinion, weight loss, better health. You name the prize.
These wonderful gifts are being deliberately removed from the table and replaced with simple, sometimes vilifying options for us to choose from. So, we move from the concept of research and discernment from a variety of viewpoints, to a deliberate and firm position which many others have already reached. You are now a part of that “club”. Without even realizing that a “club” has been used on you to get you to this place.
AI is yet another tool that can either help or hinder the engage, enrage and divide world we live in. It can be used for good, where AI will distill the results of a question, we may have into useful cliff notes to help us decide the next steps. Or it can be used to inform us of yet another conspiracy theory, depending on the information sources used to inform that Mr. or Ms. AI are distilling opinions and results for your consumption.
The antidote to all this madness is the principles of mindfulness and contemplation. Both practices rely on us collating and gathering information calmly and neutrally. A world where conclusions are far away from the starting gate. Then, as the information flows towards us, we become guided by this flow, picking the pathways through reflection and discernment, unrushed and unhurried by the need to be at the destination in a few microseconds.
Such is the practice in Centering Prayer, where our agendas and predefined expectations are left in the parking lot, and perhaps even, we have happily forgotten where we parked the car.
Here, we are left alone with God to guide us. To reach that place within where those noises are not heard or felt. Where we and the most beloved are just engaged with each other. Where we rest in each other without expectations.
Copyright Reflection, Poem and Image 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
I can see you
I can see you
Hiding that thing you want from me
That desire to tell me what to think
What to say
What to do
I can see you
A member of the clan that’s not me
I can see you
But an enemy in disguise
Pretending to know me by kind words
Hiding in sheep’s clothing
I can see you
I can see you
Your message is clear to me
You have taken God and painted him in your own colors
The word contemplation brings up all sorts of thoughts and prejudices. As I write this reflection, we are getting ready for a six-day silent retreat titled “Following the Footprints of Contemplative Prayer”.
While the topic of contemplation has been the subject of many books, there is not universal agreement on what it means, with perhaps one exception. Contemplation occurs when there is an experience of the divine, or if you like, a palpable encounter with God. Again, even this definition may have others refine or define it differently.
Having spent a great deal of time “in” this subject from an academic, theological, and spiritual perspective over many years, I see several steps which lead up to a potential contemplative encounter or “state”.
When we experience contemplation we will have an encounter with something ineffable. Difficult to explain or describe, but something that is only in the knowing, in the experience itself. These often manifest themselves in an experience of being peace-filled or an experience of love. The more untethered that experience is, the more powerful it becomes. This reservoir of peace or love is something which sustains us in the world and is provided by the communication of love and peace. This is done through grace. We can think of grace as the means to bring us to a contemplative place, a place of loving, of peace. Grace is God’s love communicated directly.
This can be triggered by many means, prayer, in its contemplative forms, being one means that many use to invite the divine which resides within us all, to dwell most wonderfully so we may experience God directly.
To move towards this contemplative state we first need to be aware and notice what is going on around us. We are in the present. In the Now. As we do so we inevitably begin to reflect on what we are noticing, of what we are aware.
Once we are deep in reflection, the second state in the process, we can then move into contemplation. This could be triggered by prayer in a variety of forms, and frequently is facilitated by the process of discernment, where we have an open heart and mind and a willingness to involve God in whatever is on our heart. However, contemplative prayer does not require us to be asking something from God, rather is only requires us to “rest in God” as many Saints, mystics and spiritual leaders have proposed over the centuries.
Contemplation and the various routes to seeking and experiencing it have been a key element of our relationship with God in many traditions. The Christian Mystical Tradition has many paths that are well worth exploring for those looking to deepen their relationship with God.
You might argue that anyone who has experienced that feeling of inner peace, of love from within, of love from others has had a contemplative experience. An encounter with God. So even those who may not be following a particular faith path still get to feel and experience God’s love in this way.
For many, the contemplative way is the only path to true inner peace. Most of us are still finding our way.
Photograph and Reflection Copyright 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
