Do you ever get that feeling that you need to get close to something or someone but are scared to do so. We are all warned in the world to stay away from things that might hurt us. Don’t touch the stove Michael. Stay away from the edge! Don’t run with scissors. You get the idea. Sometimes, I just wonder what holds us back.
The person who will not take the dive from the higher board, try the more difficult ski slope, be willing to talk to someone who they don’t feel comfortable with are all characteristics we may have encountered at some time or another.
Often, we surprise ourselves by not only losing whatever fear we had of the situation by encountering it directly, but we conquer it completely, now seeing there may have not been anything to be afraid of in the first place.
Our human development and spiritual journeys are littered with such milestones. They could represent the end of a journey for us, if we are not willing to try and pass the slow car ahead which is hindering our progress. Or we may be happy staying in the village in which we were born for the next seventy years. There is no right answer, but there is an inflection point, the point at which we decide if we are too scared to face the fear. Is staying in port when there is a storm brewing on the ocean a sign of scaredness? I would not say so. More like a good decision. This is not the sort of decision that I am talking about here.
Being scared of something or someone often just requires us to examine consequences of confronting the fear which is operating within. What is the worse that could happen. The pretty girl rejects me. Perhaps, but then again, she might accept my proposal for coffee and we are together for the rest of our lives. Is the potential rejection not worth the risk?
We all have a set of markers that tell us what our risk profile is, some seem to be willing to take a risk or jump in more than others. It does not make them necessarily reckless just because they would do so. The risk profile is there for them to determine. What may seem risky to one, is a walk in the park for others.
So, what should we be scared of then? I can’t really answer that question for you, you must do so for yourself. Danger holds its victims close by. And our perception of danger has a variable scale.
However, I will say this. If you never confront the issues which are causing you to feel scared, and they are addressable, you may be setting yourself up for misery and regret. Some of the most important decisions that have been made in the world are bold and in retrospect, beautiful. A wound does not heal well until it has been fully cleaned and dressed in readiness for its new skin. Attention is paid to the wound; it will not heal by just looking at it and feeling sorry for ourselves.
Such is the world in the spiritual realm. We must see what is bothering us, keeping us awake at night, giving us that “gut feeling” which tells us something is wrong, or needs to change. And then to not only listen, but to do something about it.
Or not.
Photograph and Reflection Copyright 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
There is much talk these days about winners and losers. Very shortly, as we move into the space after the 5th November 2024 election, many will feel one way or the other—perhaps as many as half of the nation if polls are to be believed.
So, where does that leave us? After we become losers, or at least as much of the world defines them, we can reflect while the others around us (the winners) rejoice. However, this process does little to heal the divisions or positions that separated us in the first place. So, are there truly winners and losers? Of course, we have all been on both sides of these coins.
Often, the determination for winning or losing may be reasonably straightforward. We lost the soccer game. I came in last, not first. We were runners-up. However, these events don’t define our lives, at least not with any permanence. We can recover from these results, train harder, learn new skills, and try again for a different result next time.
But how do we process winning or losing? Everyone knows the expression “a sore loser,” and sometimes, a winner can rub the result in your face, being somewhat ungracious in victory.
Winning does not guarantee a permanent state for the victor except perhaps, for wars. And even then, that can change, of course. So, we can consider winning or losing, for that matter, to be a temporary state of affairs. A place along the a journey if you like. However, we can consider it another way. If we think of winning and losing as a culminating activity it can fill a room full of trophies (in our mind at least) and the losses as obstacles, fences or walls to overcome in the future. In either case, we are likely to suffer from reaffirmation and the wins or loses start to become a part of who we are. This is because we have not “processed” what happened. Losing a contest for playing music may be a call to improve, and actually help your musical career. On the other hand, being ridiculed for your first failed public speaking event (might be in the elementary classroom) could scar you for a while. So what is all this winning and losing about then.
Well, in society, particularly Western society, we like to think of ourselves as winners and losers. This makes us a proper noun. Embodying what is, in fact, just a result of a particular excursion in life. A waypoint, milestone, marker if you will. Thinking about the winning and losing in this category, places the results in a journey. A journey which is much bigger than any one result along the way.
There is a hilarious character in an old BBC comedy called “Dad’s Army”. This army is comprised of men who are either too old or infirm in some way to join the regular army during World War II. It is a comedy that might be considered not so politically correct today, but it talks to the issue of cumulating disasters. Each time something fails, or there is a bad result in anything, a Scottish elderly soldier declares in a strong accent, “We’re doomed! We doomed!” Fraser, the soldier is always looking for negative affirmation, to the point that he is a walking “loser” looking for places to confirm his status.
While this is a comedic tool for the writers of this program, it also illustrates how quickly we can become what others say we are: winners or losers. It takes work to dig ourselves out of a hole when we are criticized, more so than any chest-beating or beaming smile that results from a “win.”
The bottom line here is we are not either winners or losers; we are. We just are.
Taking a less tribal approach to determining who is right or wrong, left or right, black or white, will help us see who we truly are. We are humanity. It is up to us to be human and embody some of the characteristics that make us a part of the common good. Compassion, love, and hospitality would be a place to start. And if that’s too complex for us, then let us remember that the famous Franciscan Friar, John Duns Scotus quoted many years ago. “If it is not of love, then it is not of God.”
Land and Sky by Michael J. Cunningham
Reflection and image Copyright 2024 Michael J. Cunningham OFS
Sometimes when you wake up first thing in the morning and you’re a little tired everything is just starting to get moving, and you head towards the bathroom for that morning shower … and you can’t see that well.
If you haven’t had a really good night’s sleep and your body’s telling you don’t need to get up quite so early for work today, but you do so anyway. You find yourself with a little bit of blurry vision. Your eyes aren’t quite open yet … well they don’t want to be, … there are some bags under your eyes and you find it necessary to splash some water on your face and tell yourself wake up it’s time to get up.
This blurry vision dissipates when we finally open our eyes and start to see once more. This is not just a physical thing. (Well, it is I guess in relation to our eyes; and being a bit of a sleepy head in the morning.) But there’s another type of blurred vision. One which isn’t so easily fixed with a splash of cold water, the shower, and some powerful coffee to jolt the body and the mind into action.
The blurred vision I’m talking about now is the blurred vision of the mind.
We all have a certain level of sensitivity, empathy, and compassion. And frequently the more sensitive we become to picking up the vibes going on around us, the more easily we become subjects to holding those vibes within us. Actually, not just holding them, but transmitting them. Someone says something to you that offends you, which seems like it’s wrong. You catalog this, in your mind and it is remembered. You may or may not respond. Later in the day, the same thing occurs, perhaps in a different period, a report on the news, or trouble from a personal situation. They start to pile up.
This becomes blurred vision, from a spiritual perspective. It can accumulate if you don’t do something to release it.
I always admired boxers; who seem to be able to take as much as they can put out. From a spiritual perspective, we can take a lot of blows, but sometimes the effect of them just accumulates, until eventually, you don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. Then, our vision, our spiritual vision becomes blurred, and we start to lash out, perhaps even at the wrong person, just the last person who broke through the barrier we had built up. Now the weight was too much. We snap.
And yet, others seem to be able to take so much more. Why is that? Is it because those first few times when the vision seemed blurred they immediately dealt with whatever was causing us to not see straight? Maybe the thing that was activating us was not as serious to them as we thought it should be? It was a nothingburger to them, but upsetting to us. This blurred vision may need the freshwater of the morning, some eye drops, or just a good night’s sleep. Whatever is causing our reservoir of peace to be disturbed should be attended to, as it rarely gets better.
A listening ear, some time for reflection, a dose of gratitude for the other things in our lives, a glimpse of a loved one, even a joke about whatever is bothering us can bring us back to a clearer vision. Spiritual vision.
Centering prayer, quiet contemplative prayer is one way of dealing with this. Engaging in a close encounter conversation with the guy upstairs, the divine within, can make things better. And provide the needed ointment to heal the wounds of everyday life. What is your solution when your spiritual vision becomes blurred? Something to consider for the week.
Blurred by Michael Cunningham
I can see you
I can see you
Hiding that thing you want from me
That desire to tell me what to think
What to say
What you do I
I can see you
I can see you
A member of the clan that’s not me
But an enemy in disguise
Pretending to know me by kind words
Hiding in sheep’s clothing
I can see you
I can see you
Your message is clear to me
You have taken God and painted him in your own colors
Without asking me first
What colors I like
I can see you
I can see you
The mask and show of yourself
The projection to the world
Of what you are trying to do
Of who you are trying to influence
I can see you
I can see you
But now you are infecting me
With your desire to control
So my desire is to reject
You and all your wares
I can see you,
But I can’t see me clearly anymore
Because I see you
Reflection, Image and Poem copyright 2024 by Michael Cunningham OFS
